These past couple weeks have been a bit of a roller coaster ride I guess I could call them. Haiti was such a high and then as much as I didn’t necessarily want to come back, it was good to come back to my family and spend time with them. Then I very quickly packed up and moved here to Texas where things just didn’t seem to work out at all the way that they were supposed to in my eyes. My OT license didn’t come in so I couldn’t start working, finances were a bit tight, was in a completely new place knowing nothing, got sick, started my job that has not been anything like I thought it would be, and I have felt isolated and alone. There have been good moments though that I know I need to remember like finding places to go outdoors and explore, finding a church to go to, meeting new people.

One problem. I have a really hard time seeing the positive right now when the parts of life are not going quite as I had planned. And since I am away from my friends and family I isolate myself which makes the depression more. Then my eating disorder comes in as my comfort with exercise and crazy eating behaviors. I am frustrated with myself for allowing that to control a lot of my day and thoughts again. Feeling like I have to exercise in order to justify eating what I do and making myself seem like everything is great when I am out in public is exhausting!

The verse on the top of the page is one that caught me today. Making the verse more personal and what I pray tonight:  I will be strong and courageous for the Lord my God is with me. I will have faith knowing that God has a plan for me here even though I may not necessarily feel that there is one right now. Also Psalm 23:4 “Even though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death and darkness, we don’t have to fear because God is with us, protecting, leading and providing for us so that we will lack nothing.”

Tomorrow is a new day with new adventures that God has in store and I am going to do my best to use his strength to help me go out and have some fun because I know that God has the power to reach down and pull me out of this valley that I am in and help me climb back up to the mountaintop.