J and I were talking today about how fast time goes by today. I mentioned how when I told people I was coming here to Zambia for a month they would comment about how long of a time that is when in all reality, this month is going to go by way too quickly. I feel like the past few years have flown by and I can not believe it is already March of 2015!

This weekend I have been reflecting on the past couple years and all of the ways I have discovered my identity and who I am in Christ and the freedom that comes with that. Two years ago yesterday I walked out of Sol Stone after my first time there for treatment. Those two years feel like they have flown by and life has been a big adventure learning about God’s grace and his love and forgiveness. There is a song I have been listening to a lot by Lauren Daigle that I love and feel like it is so true in my life. Here is the song:

How Can It Be

I am guilty

Ashamed of what I’ve done, what I’ve become

These hands are dirty

I dare not lift them up to the Holy one

 Chorus

You plead my cause

You right my wrongs

You break my chains

You overcome

You gave Your life

To give me mine

You say that I am free

How can it be

How can it be

 I’ve been hiding

Afraid I’ve let you down, inside I doubt

That You could love me

But in Your eyes there’s only grace now

 Bridge

Though I fall, You can make me new

From this death I will rise with You

Oh the grace reaching out for me

How can it be

I lived for so long and continue to somedays ashamed and feeling guilty of my eating disorder and how I have thought about and treated my body. I had made it my identity and my secret that I tried to keep from everyone and I felt like it was something that I could never overcome. It was this chain holding me down for so long.

This song though is a huge reminder of how God can break any chain and give me a life that is free. God continues to pour out His love and His grace towards me. And it is only through that, that I am able to pick myself up when I fall and continue to walk towards freedom.