Definition of identity:
-condition or character as to who a person or what a thing is
-the sense of self, providing sameness and continuity in personality over time

For the past couple years, I have been on this search for what my identity is. Who am I? Whose am I?

I grew up with the main pieces of identity know I am a daughter, a niece, a granddaughter, a sister, a friend, a student and then an occupational therapist, a christian.

Then a year ago, I had everything taken away from me and felt like I lost all my identity and had no idea who I was. All I had were the negative things that caused me to what I called loose my identities. I was confused and lost.

I was living my life with a lot of shame, guilt, doubt and fear and that became a big part of my identity. I was so afraid of what other people would think that I went out everyday with my mask on like everything was great. I even avoided people and social situations that I loved just so no one would be able to see inside and see the real me.

In a way, it was almost a good thing for me to have everything just taken away including my job and all of my responsibilities and I was placed in a very controlled environment. I had no control over even what I ate and when, when I went to bed or woke up, how much exercise I was able to do, when I could go to to the bathroom. I was crazy. But it was good, because it made me learn to rely on God. Something I had not had to do in such a way before.

I learned that my identity was not in what I did but my identity is as a child of God and in Him!

In the past year with moving around a lot my identity is always changing in other peoples eyes and sometimes I feel like I have to change to meet other peoples expectations. But ultimately I really don’t. The other person I need to be responsible to and answer to is God. Because again, my identity is in Him and not in my job or other things that I may be involved in. In my puzzle of life, God is at the center as my identity. Or at least He needs to be.

I love the song by Mercy Me called Greater. And I feel like every time I hear it, it reminds me of my identity and who I am. I am not all of the negative things like the guilt and shame that I carry around all too much. But I am redeemed by the blood of Christ and I need to bring all of those things to Him!

Greater:
Bring your tired

Bring your shame

Bring your guilt

Bring your pain

Don’t you know that’s not your name

You will always be much more to me

Everyday I wrestle with the voices That keep telling me I’m not right But that’s alright

Cause I hear a voice and He calls me redeemed

When others say I’ll never be enough

And greater is the One living inside of me Than he who is living in the world

In the world In the world

And greater is the One living inside of me Than he who is living in the world

Bring your doubts

Bring your fears

Bring your hurt

Bring your tears

There’ll be no condemnation here You are holy, righteous and redeemed

Every time I fall There’ll be those who will call me A mistake Well, that’s ok

There’ll be days I lose the battle

Grace says that it doesn’t matter

Cause the cross already won the war

He’s greater He’s greater

I am learning to run freely

Understanding just how He sees me And it makes me love Him more and more

He’s greater He’s greater