I, like everyone else, have been thinking a lot about what is going on in our world this year. There is a lot of fear, loss, sadness, loneliness, and so much more surrounding the Coronavirus and now the protests following the killing of George Floyd. It is a crazy and unexpected time for all of us. I have been trying to figure out how to write this without sounding ignorant or blind to the discrimination and racism we see in the world. Here is goes.

I grew up in a predominantly white city however I was exposed to many different people and cultures. I have two adopted siblings who are mixed race. I can’t begin to imagine how they are feeling right now, especially my brother. I remember one day when I was pushing them and other kids my mom had in a stroller at a store. I had stopped and was sitting on a bench with them and a lady came up to me, looked us up and down, and then stated “aren’t you too young to be having children”. So what if I was the mother of those kids? It was not okay for that lady to think any less of me or judge me based on assumptions. Just like it is not our right to judge or think less of others because they have made different choices than we have or they are a different color than we are.

There is a word that has been popping up in my head and the word is ableism. Ableism is typically heard when relating to people who have disabilities. It is discrimination or social prejudice against a person who we think is not as able-bodied as we are. As an occupational therapist, I work with and see many people with disabilities and I grew up with a brother with severe disabilities. I have seen ableism first hand with people thinking that my brother can’t do certain things because he is not like them. I have also heard ableism resulting in a social hierarchy and attributing disability to groups of people. This is exactly what is happening in the world. There are noted instances of social prejudice and discrimination against people of other races and ethnicities then we may be.

In 2013, my friend Ethan from when I was younger died at a movie theater. The way he died is what I have been thinking about a lot with all of this going on. He was killed by a police officer who used too much force and didn’t listen. Ethan died of asphyxiation due to the force the officer put on him. Ethan had Down Syndrome. The news of his death was spread pretty far, but it was not necessarily a nation wide, big news deal. And there were never any protests promoting the lives of people with disabilities and the way people with disabilities and mental illnesses are treated by the police. His mom however took charge in educating law enforcement about people who have disabilities and how they are no different than a lot of us and require the respect and ability to speak just like I do. Yes, people with disabilities require more patience and may be difficult, but their lives matter too. Ethan’s mom took a more peaceful approach following Ethan’s death raising awareness through education and helping make new policies to protect people. I am aware that being black right now and having a disability are two different things and people are treated in different ways. However protests with violence is absolutely not the answer to bring awareness. The opposite happens and it causes more chaos and depending on what is going on, it can just make the situation worse in noting that the people who are fighting for their rights are also the ones causing more destruction. This is not how we were meant to live. I understand that we will most likely always see ableism happening with discrimination and prejudice against people who are not like us, but I feel like the way we respond to situations that come is what is most important in getting points across and promoting change. Below is a picture of me and Ethan when we were probably around 3-4 yrs old.